Pushing Past Rejection

Rejection is a significant source of pain for many of us. Rejection most frequently refers to the feelings of shame, sadness, or grief that people feel when they are not accepted by others. Have you ever felt rejected? Maybe you didn’t get selected for the job that you really wanted or the man that you loved chose someone else, or maybe your friends had a party and they didn’t invite you.

Rejection hurts and it stings. Let me tell you about a time I felt rejected. In college, I worked at one of the largest financial institutions in the world. I was on top of my game and always received raving reviews and accolades from upper management and clients. I was offered a permanent senior level position shortly after graduating. I was thrilled and knew without a doubt that I would do an amazing job! This soon changed after my first performance evaluation. I was called into the manager’s office. He looked me dead in my eyes and told me that I was the greatest let down that he had witnessed in his 35 year career. He said that I must have been hired out of pity and that I was a waste of the organizations resources. Then he said a phrase that would replay in my heart and mind for years to come. He said “Brittany, you are not who I expected you to be”. I had a huge lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach and I did everything I could to not burst into tears. Something in me that day broke. You know what broke? My confidence! It shattered in a million pieces. I made up in my mind that day that I simply wasn’t enough and that belief paralyzed me and formed a lens. I started to view the world from this broken, rejected lens. It took years to break free from this seed of rejection that was planted. Maybe you have been operating out of a spirit of rejection and don’t even know it. Here are a few signs that you may be operating out of a spirit of rejection:

1) You have a difficult time creating and forming new relationships because of rejection that you have experienced in the past. You keep your walls up.

2) You have a critical spirit towards others and yourself because of the rejection you have felt from others. You hurt people before they can hurt you.

3) You constantly overthink, overanalyze, and second guess yourself because of the fear of rejection. You are afraid of making a mistake.

4) You are afraid to try new things and/or often feel inferior because you feel you may fail due to the fear of rejection.

Rejection is a part of life because we live in a fallen world. Jesus gives us the perfect example of how to thrive through rejection. If we look to the life of Jesus, we will see that from the very start of his ministry, he was rejected. People questioned his authority and validity. In Luke 4:16-30, Jesus was teaching in the synagogue and after he teaches his powerful message, they were amazed at his words and amazed at his teaching, but the only thing that they could say was “Isn’t this Joseph’s son.”. In other words, they said that he was not good enough, but Jesus didn’t “clap back” or internalize what they said. He herd it, spoke what the Word said, and he continued on with his mission. He never deviated from His mission or assignment. As Christ followers, we must consistently aim for submission to God rather than reception by man. The approval of others had no effect on Jesus’ identity as the Son of God.

We too, must focus on the truth of who we are. We cannot define ourselves as rejected or unworthy. In my own struggle with rejection, I allowed my identity to be defined by how that manager saw me rather than by the truth of who God declared me to be. The truth is that through Christ I am chosen, redeemed, and created for good works. As Christ’s ambassadors, we must follow his example. This obedience requires us to stay rooted in what we know to be true about who we are in Christ.

Meditation Verse:

For the Lord will not forsake his people; he will not abandon his heritage.

Psalm 94:14 (ESV)